Pictures of our babies !

The last pict, at 16 weeks :

Very proud to present you the beautifulest babies of the univers ! Yesss, I am completely objective and realistic ;)

And after fetal reduction, our duo-team at 10 weeks : 

Goodbye little one...  strange mixture of sadness and joy...

DuoTeam seems to enjoy to dance ! Yeah !

Our three mousquetaires at 4 weeks : 

They normally are 18 weeks tomorrow... maybe a new pict ? Cant wait.

Please God let us our beautiful DuoTeam ! They are so big and we love them so much !

Out from hospital ! Yes !!

Just received the e-mail from Neha. Our lovely surrogate is discharged from the hospital.
Bleeding and fever has stopped. FINALLY
What a stress ! 2 weeks of bleeding and one of fever. Poor M. so sorry for her !
I really hope that the fears are over  and she will be fine next 4 months with her little boy.
Very proud and grateful lovely M. !!!!

Keep growing my babies love ! Mumy and dady love you so much.

Nice picture !

I know...

I know, I told that I have to stop the blog.... But I need to talk, to explain.... My husband ask me to stop it but i cant resist ! He's scared about problems we could have to go back at home. But I hope We are 'incognito' enough ;-)

We had a lot of wonderfull news and emotions since ma last blog, we are parents of beautiful twins of 17weeks pregnancy.

Unfortunelaty, our poor surrogate is admited at the hospital since 23th november. Sci team are incredible, we have a feedback every day and they are very comprehensive and support.
Our lovely M is suffering fever and bleeding since 8 days... Poor m, we are so sorry for her !
Doctor told us that she's feeling better day after day and babies are going well. She has no infection, bleeding becomes spotting and fever is 'of and on'....

I am not pessimist... But realist. It's true, sometimes it's happen, sometimes it is not serious but all of us know what is the risk and the issues. The only thing we can do today is hoping and pray to have the best news in the future... My heart is tighted ( english is not my mother language, so I am not sure about the right words, sorry i do in my best) but of course we hope the best, and if not, we have to accept.

So... Wait and see...

Youhouuuuu !!!!!!!!! BFP :)

No words ..... thank you Dr Shivani & Team ! After so many fails.... you are the big winner !

cOnGrAtULaTiOnS...!!!

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done a Beta HCG test for Meena.

We are happy to inform you that her beta value is 732.75, which is excellent.

Please find the attached file for the same.

We would like to congratulate you as you are pregnant now.

We will now do a USG scan for her within a week to check the pregnancy sacs.

Once her scan will be done, we will get back to you at the earliest.

SCI wishing you good luck for this beautiful journey ahead.

I cannot say more ... I am just .... happy ? I dont know if this word is correct ! :o)

The bad news is .... I have to stop the blog :'-(    I am very sorry  for all of followers... for security reasons I have to do it... But I continue to write on a simple "sheet" and I will come back next year. In the meantime I continue to read your story before comeback.  I promis... 

Goodbye to all and good luck to all of you !!

Round 2

We received an e-mail from Doctor Shivani Saturday night at 23h47 local time. That's mean Sunday 4.15 am in Delhi...
I cant imagine her agenda and large amount of work. Thank you Dr Shivani to be so close and keep us informed. That's very important for anxious intendent parents like us.

So... we change of surrogate... Miss M will be our new "nounou", thank you miss M !!!  This time, embryos will be developed to blastocyste stade with an assisted lazer hatching to increase our chances.
So the transfert is planned for 26th and pregnancy test will be on 6th septembre.

What a strong and generous "HappyTeam" to give you life my lovely "boule d'amour" ... you can come... everybody is ready :)

Just wait...

No news about our "boule d'amour" our future "baby love" but a little update...

I received an e-mail at 18th on July from Meg explaining that next embryo transfert are normally on "8-15" august... depending on our very nice surrogate's cycle.

So we're following our life in day to day. Both working a lot, too much I thing... but... In reality, we dont think too much :-)

I'm motivate to work because I know why I'm working and why I wake up every morning. I very like my job, but I'm also working for you my "boule d'amour"... for your beautiful creation, your birth, your futur life... you are not on this earth yet, but already in my heart since so long... I already love you "boule d'amour"...

Reassured !

This morning, I had a appointment with a professor who made search in reproduction. She was very nice and answered to all my questions. She told me that 6 frozen embryos transfert failed is very very normal in Europe. We have to made a difference between 6 shots = 6 egg retrieval and 6 frozen embryos transfert = 1 egg retrieval. She told me also that Indian Doctor are also very very competent in terme of reproduction and have a great experience and good technology. Ok It is not the same case for all doctor but certainly for beautiful Dr Shivani. So it is important for me because today I am not desperate ! I was afraid about the word "NEVER" after 6 fails. "If it could never come..." "If I could not never be a mum", blablabla... Now I keep hope, and I am stay positive ! "Just live" daily and waiting for next shot !

Big Negative !

A big Negative ... we recieved this bad news 3 days ago from SCI team.

My god... I think I am not 36 years old today but 86 ! My name is Mamy today (grandmother in french) ! I am so tired ... We dont want a new negative result.. it is so hard to live after so many failures.
So many tries and attempt and we have a big negative...  but we also have 11 frozen strong embryos. I have to be a MUM ! I dont know when but it will happen !!!!!

Dr Shivani and her team sent us a warm and human e-mail. Thank you for that ! Communication is very very important for all Intended Parents.

Now My love and me are in discussion about next steps !
For me the best way is action. I dont want crying in my bed all the time.. I want a positive and I'll have !
I am a cancer survivor and i am NOT dead !!! But we have to keep our foot on the floor.

We really really would like to choose a second surrogate to increase our chances.
but we have 2 obstacles :
Imagine, 2 surrogates are both pregnant. < We dreaming of twins.. We dont have any problems about 3 or 4 children. ( It will be NOT EASY, but ok, we'll manage it ) >

1_But if both have reductions, C-section, and other problems with surrogates or babies after born, money will really missing... ok this case is very rarely ...
2_And this may become very difficult to obtain passeport for children in a certain part of europe...

Ho my god ! I cannot find the sleep ! I calculate, I think, I guess scenario to take the best decision but really not easy... I will waiting for any answer from SCI and lawyer and after deciding.

One think is really clear... We waiting for a new transfert !

See you.... after any enlightenment ;)

PS : if anyone have statistics and success rate of FET, please tell us. It will help us.

Back from India

What a wonderful travel !!!

We met a lot of indian people. Every day a diner with friends. We are so happy,  so touched by the generosity of all !

Doctor Shivani show us the clinic, everybody in the team, how she works and answered to all our questions.
Gourav help us to manage money transfert because we have so many problems with our bank... the money start from Europe and come back in Europe, and start again and come back again. But now all is correct ! Thank you Gourav.

We aslo met our nice and smily surrogate. She was smiling but shy. We just exchanged a few words but a lot of emotions... When we leave the clinic a had some tears in my eyes... Thank you miss S we hope all will be ok for you.

Technically all is gone, "just" 2 Weeks Wait.....

- 16th june : meet Dr Shivani and embryologist for a first SemenSample to freeze
- 18th june : meet Lawyer and our beautiful Surrogate, and second semen sample
- 20th june : 3th semen sample and egg collection
(I dont know why 3 semen sample but ok, no problem :o)
-> 18 eggs collected and 18 embryos grade 1 and 2
-> 4 grade 1 transfered and 11 frozen

SCI decided to made ICSI and no IFV classic. Europe never propose us this traitement. It will increase our chances I guess.

Now... we have to waiting for next e-mail from Neha with good news we hope !
Please God, after so many disappointments, traitements, negative results, a lot of appointment with doctors,  psychologists, 4 years on trying and one miscarriage. Please give us a chance to have the most beautiful job of the world !

Yours,

Blood test OK

We are in stimulation ! Just recieved en e-mail from Neha :

"...Please note that everything is fine and within normal limit...."

I love this sentence !
Thx Neha and see you soon...

J-3... Ready to fly !

Visa -> ok !
New Passport -> ok !
New Id-Card -> ok !
Fly & Hotel -> ok !
Blood test result -> ok !

Just waiting for the Day !

Our beautiful ED started regulations at 21th May... Normally she's ready for blood test right now with an eggs collection 19-20-21th june. I hope all is ok for her, I hope she's feeling not bad with medicine and injections... I often thinking for her and never forget her smile...

I am so impatient and stressed.... I try to control me and do not ask to much news to Dr Shivani's Team... but it is not really easy.

Partir au bout du monde dans un pays inconnu, dans une clinique inconnue avec tout ce que l'on peut entendre sur le sujet des mères porteuses en Inde... profit, trafic, arnaques, etc.....

Nous sommes convaincus que la gestation pour autrui est une histoire d'Amour avec un grand "A"où le mot amour prend tout son sens. Un couple, un enfant, une gestatrice, une donneuse, waouw.... quelle belle expérience... aucun autre enfant n'aura été désiré comme toi ma petite boule d'amour !

Heureusement nos amis sont eux aussi passés par là et tout s'est merveilleusement bien passé. Je suis donc globalement en confiance même s'il subsiste, non pas un doute, mais appelons cela du stress et de l'angoisse sur le : "et si cela n'arrivait jamais"... ! Juste Impensable !!!

Après de nombreux échecs, on se protège inévitablement et on n'ose pas se projeter dans l'avenir, ni faire des projets... un peu comme si cela pouvait porter malheur...
Une chose est certaine, nous avons beaucoup plus de chances en Inde. On passe d'un petit 10% à un bon 40%... la différence est quand même plus qu'énorme !

Mais le plus important pour moi c'est le suivi, le soutien, l'écoute, les réponses... j'ai plus de retour de cet hopital inconnu (pour nous) à New Delhi que de notre hopital pourtant réputé... et c'est sans compter le timing !!!! Dans notre pays, il faut compter 3 mois entre chaque rendez-vous de 20 minutes.... Ici nous avons contacté le Dr Shivani le 19 mai, et le 16 juin nous serons à Delhi dans le bureau du Docteur Shivani qui a pourtant un agenda bien chargé !!!! C'est ce que l'on appelle de l'efficacité ! Ou de l'organisation... c'est selon...

J'espère de tout mon coeur que la suite se passera aussi bien... croisons les doigts et prions !!!

Ready for a new life !

May 14, 11h51 am... the start of our new life !

This morning at 10am enrollment forms and copy of passeports are sent to Dr Shivani. It is a great day !
After a cancer in 2008, a long time of infertility we decide to do it.

A lot of questions before, a lot of medical meeting, we tried with a europe surrogacy and my sister like egg donors but no success.  Two years of traitment, 6 embryons, 4 transfers, 2 miscarriages, nothing !

A colleague of my made a "lucky gift" a little ganesh. Maybe a sign of destiny.
So Thank you Kathy... and we hope our way will be easier then belgian experience.

Today in Europe the sun is shining after long long time of grey sky and lot of rain...